i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize