Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize