The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize