im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
