I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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