i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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