I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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