is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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