Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize