***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
