it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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