We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
