yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
