WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
