At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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