How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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