that's an acceptable place to lick
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
