yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
