u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
