Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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