I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
