you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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