i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
