Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
