Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
