just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
