I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
