Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
