Banned from zoo.
Again?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
