both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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