hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
