did you get engaged???
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My feet surprised me
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