I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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