I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
