I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it glows. i had to have it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
