my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
