My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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