no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
