I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
