vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
