Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
