I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
