Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
should my penis look like a turkey
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
