I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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