Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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