mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
