I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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