I'd wear matching sweaters with you
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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