its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
