My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
