I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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