What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize