I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
