I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize