yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
