she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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