Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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