See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
