Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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