somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize