I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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