singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
