he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
