WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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